“Not only are bloggers suckers for the remarkable, so are the people who read blogs .” - Seth Godin
Not too long ago, I did something most sane humans would not.
I offered people a 100% free, no strings attached strategy call to help them break free from emotional stress and burnout.
It was grueling.
There were multiple days when I did 4 back-to-back calls over 6 hours.
I can’t say I would do it again like that, EXCEPT that it was the best eye-opener ever.
Here’s the shocking thing I learned: it wasn’t work stress that was keeping most people miserable. It was a broken heart in their personal lives.
Everyone that got on a call with me believed that better time-management or a better calendar or some new app would fix their stress and heartache, but what I discovered was that everyone who was the MOST stressed and burned out had been through romantic heartbreak and fell into one of three “buckets” of people.
The “feeling deceived and living a lie” bucket.
These folks had been committed to making the relationship work with their Ex, and so they had kept turning themselves into a pretzel to make everything OK. And now have to face the fact that they felt deceived, ashamed and full of doubt when their relationship fell apart.
Included in this bucket were people that may even have blamed themselves for the breakup and/or keep trying to figure out what went wrong, and now don’t trust themselves (much less anyone else…).
Then, there was the…
The “Stuck in a Grudge” bucket.
This was a super interesting bucket, because (even if they think they’ve done a great job hiding it from their family and friends) they feel stuck in anger, bitterness, and defensive of how often they daydream about their Ex “getting what they deserve” (or maybe even fantasizing that their Ex comes crawling back so you can break up with THEM this time!)
For the most part, they were confused about how to move on. Especially when they worry they’re becoming the one everyone avoids because their friends are tired of hearing them tell the same ol’ story about how their Ex did them dirty. And no idea how to stop.
Lastly, there were the…
“Lost Myself in the Relationship” people
But the biggest bucket, by far, was #2.
If that is you (or someone you care about), you must read and comprehend this email or you will (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) be stuck where you are forever, because…
…there is no karma, makeover, or rebound fling in existence that will help you outrun the heartache that’s keeping your grudge alive and keeping you trapped by your past relationship.
The difference between those who break free from the heartbreak of their divorce and those that don’t…
The difference between someone who can forgive on their own terms and someone struggling to control the toxic emotions eating away at their life…
The difference between hearing your friends saying, “she’s so much better off without him” or “she’ll never be OK” comes down to the following:
Your ability to rebuild trust in yourself so that you can make decisions without second-guessing or procrastination and start building the life you deserve.
Your ability to free yourself from the “grudge loop” by forgiving on you time and on your terms, (without letting anyone back into your life that you don’t want).
Your ability to rediscover who you really are, and feel in your bones that you’re loveable, loving, and creating your ideal future.
This is truly what separates you from the ones who stay stressed out, burned out, bitter, and lonely.
It’s what will allow you to stop losing your $%@# when someone mentions your Ex.
It’s how I stopped feeling hurt every time my kid repeated some nonsense she heard her dad say, and now just relax and enjoy my time with her when she gets home from a visit.
It’s what will allow you to fearlessly dream about the future and boldly move toward it (whether your dream is being a great mom, feeling like your old self again, or living life as such an amazing adventure that you forget your Ex’s name…).
You see, there are many ways to get to the mountaintop when it comes to breaking free from heartbreak. But the surest way to never get anywhere is to give away your future by sitting around nursing a grudge, just because you have no idea how to reclaim your power from your divorce.
Now, hopefully I have your attention…
Over the next few days, I am going to be sending you a series of emails giving you more info on why BREAKING FREE from divorce heartbreak makes the difference between ”wondering if you should have just numbed out and stayed married” and finally living the new life you deserve with ease.
As grueling as those phone calls were, I am incredibly grateful to all of you for sharing where you are, because it forced me to create something amazing that I have been thinking about for years.
Stay tuned for more…
All the best,